Dan’s Musing: Actress Sues Playwright for Violent S&M Relationship

'Moonstruck' scribe had violent S&M relationship with actress: suit

I hate stories like this. It lends itself to a long discussion about the age-differences, power imbalances, emotional and mental coercion. I speak loudly and proudly about consent, and its strictest application, and will be the last person to “victim blame” in a situation in which the nature of consent was vague or unestablished.

However, this article and lawsuit seem to be dripping with sex-negative hysteria. People partake in trusting, consensual “violent” sex all the time, and yes, many people like it. Details of this lawsuit stick out to me, but the most significant is the lack of reference to consent. It does not state that Ms. Jencsik gave or refused consent, but instead highlights that she was “not in her right mind” during their four-month relationship (which could serve to invalidate any potential history of consent, written in emails, chats, text messages — all of these will probably come to light during the case.) 

Sometimes these situations are vague, and vague is very dangerous. Always negotiate ahead of time, always have a safe word (and unless you have one, the default is “stop”.) If none of that had been established, I could see how the experience could have been very traumatic and potentially abusive.

However, If Ms. Jencsik had granted consent, this could set the stage for a very dangerous precedent and further demonizing sexuality (and members of the BDSM community.) This is a scary dialogue, because In our culture, the sex-negative side always wins.

Consent requires trust, and that includes trust in the nature of consent itself.

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The “I Like It” video minus the advertisements! Reblog if you like :)

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From the “I Like It” Video!
Q: HI, HI, HI! I loved you guys since my old mentor, Jon Elkin, first introduced me to your music! I apologize that I just missed you guys at Cambridge, I was busy that weekend. ALSO!! As an aspiring musician, I was also wondering what program you guys use for your electronic-piece to your music? I use ableton live with my akai apc40 and was wondering if you guys had any suggestions for midicontrollers, programs, etc. ANYWAYS THANK YOU!!

We use Logic and Pro Tools for the most part, in the record coming out we are using a lot of old vintage synths too! Ableton is great, too, we have yet to integrate it but probably will.

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Awesome shot from last night&#8217;s show!


#Plushgun (Taken with instagram)

gorgeous colors!
From The “Crush To Pass The Time” Video

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Q: I'm a huge fan, and I have converted many a people to the way of Plushgun. So, I thank you for the music already in my CD player and the music yet to caress my eardrums. You guys make rainbows in my soul.

Band Name Idea “Rainbows in My Soul”

And thanks so much! I really like this Tumblr thing…

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Q: awesome had no idea you guys were still around/had a tumblr or anything! My phone was on shuffle a few days ago and your song came on and reminded me how much I loved listening to your music! :)

We are still around! With a new album coming out, too!

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